Thursday, July 25, 2013

Frustration continues! & a little bit of rambling (ok a lot)

You know there really is nothing like just being another number in the que .. if only we didn't have to rely on so many middle men and referrals!

Why this feeling? .... Well upon leaving hospital after the removal of my tumour the surgeon instructed for an MRI to be done 6 months from surgery (which coincidentally is today) .... Since I still hadn't received an appointment, so I ring Fulford Radiology who inform me that they received the referral from my local specialist in May instructing the appointment to be in ... October .. 6 months after I last saw him in April for a pointless $80 - 5 minute appointment.  Not sure why he has done this I ring the local specialist asking if we can revise that back to the instruction of the surgeon and get an MRI booked in .... reply was 'oh I'm sure he knows best, but I'll mention it to him' .. (yes you will & if needed i'll send you a copy of the post op report instructing a MRI in July or even August but not October!) .. 'lovely, much appreciated' is all I can say.  It may be a simple error sure and we are all human, it just not nice to be the number in the que when its dealing with your brain, your body and your emotions.  All in all though 6 months down the track and i'm feeling average, school holidays have been taxing but everyday is still a blessing.  The renovations are 90% there and i'm a very lucky lady having just been to Rarotonga with friends for their wedding.

If there is one thing that sticks with me through this journey is that you need to keep onto the system to ensure it is working for you, you just can't leave it in the hands of the professionals because a lot of the time to them you are just a number and an income.  

It is amazing to me just how it works, today i've noticed that:
- a lot of adults go through some rather major experiences but seem to be viewed upon as hush hush in many cases or expectation/amazement that 'they are coping so well' (on the exterior at least), 
- there are a lot of children who face tremendous issues, where only a select few are there to support the family,
- Then there are the children and adults who end up on the front line of 'media and awareness' pulling support from a further field . maybe due to someone standing up for them or their position in society.
My wish would be that everyone facing such challenges had the support of a large group - big call and unrealistic sure - but imagine just how support like that feels and what positive outcomes it is able to achieve.  Also imagine those who are left to struggle/manage alone, yes some people may prefer this but overall the results and recovery are reflective of the support one receives on their journey.

  It all reminds me of local communities of yesteryear,  lately i've been talking to my grandparents about how life was.  The simple life, I guess you could call it.  Where veggies grew in the back garden - you knew your neighbours on first name basis, if you had extra or someone needed help it was all spread around as people worked together, local halls were busy most weekends and volunteers where everywhere in large supply.  Don't get me wrong evolution has got its good points but the change has also removed some community spirit and general hands on support and face to face communication.  
Its like what real use is there of social media / the internet and is it a positive / negative influence? I know it sure does help you to gain knowledge at a quicker pace but is that needed, used wisely or does it set people up for failure.  When it comes to how many 'likes or comments' on a post do we now have expectation that people will reply to fuel the fire needed to keep our passion alive or is it a meaningless waste of energy and resources leaving us feel unappreciated for our time and efforts.  
I get caught between the want for a simple life and the needs of a complex one all the time.  I believe that motherhood has done this to me, I want our children to grow up with simple values, respect for elders and knowledge to set them up for life.  But then when I look around my home, their school and the wider community I find it filled with meaningless junk.  The type of junk that compounds and then ten steps later your standing there wondering what happened.  It puts me in standstill mode, one minute I think the solution is to get rid of it all - back to basics, but then the expectations of society creep in.  

Its a big pondering of mine - just what is the world going to look like when our children are adults and are we doing them justice to prepare?  Have you noticed just how happy they are with the unknown - playing today purely for what gifts today brings, its society and advertising which teaches them (more often then not) about the needs that come of wanting the latest gadget or toy.  However after the money is spent, that item is bought home, its generally tossed aside so they can play in the mud - just as I did as a child which goes to show that nothing much changes at all huh! The cycle is the same - yet each generation has a generalisation of wanting to provide more for their children then what was provided for them.  I'm yet to meet a parent who raves about each moment of childhood and wants to repeat that experience directly for their children.
Have we walked away from overall simple values and communities or have we just forgotten them caught up in the world as it is today, everyone wants to be bigger and better then what was before them - but it is these pressures that put us in an unhealthy position. Maybe that's what happened to simplicity - why spend time 'you don't have' growing vegetables when you can pay someone else to via a shop?  or stopping in to check on your neighbour when you have so much work to do ... oh if only I had the time for that .. right ....

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